Quidditch Rooms and Libraries
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: WARNING: Slash RLSB MWPP Era OneShot Remus and Sirius move in together, but conflict arises when Sirius wants a quidditch room and Remus wants a library. Sleeping on couches, Peter eating doughnuts, and pranking James ensues. :D


"What the hell do you have in this box?"

Sirius loftily looked over at James, who was heaving a bulky cardboard box on his arms. Sirius smirked as he saw the fact that James' skin was shaking underneath the weight.

"What would you say if I told you that there are sex toys in that box?" he challenged.

James promptly dropped the box. It fell with a thud on the floor, but the prominent sound remained the breaking of the items inside.

"James, what the hell are you doing?" Remus shouted, rushing over from the other room.

"I'm not touching that box!" James cried, holding his hands up defensively.

"And why not?" Remus demanded, putting a hand on his hip. As if on cue, Sirius chuckled quietly. Remus turned to face him sternly. "Sirius." he warned.

"I told James that there were sex toys in the box." Sirius said, grinning widely at the floor.

Remus gaped, before slapping Sirius lightly on his arm.

"Padfoot!" he gasped disapprovingly. "What possessed you to say that?! I had some of mother's dining china in there."

James' eyes widened as he slowly sank to the floor and opened the box. Within the brown depths lay at least a thousand little pieces of white porcelain.

"Sorry Moony." Sirius and James both murmured embarrassingly.

Remus pursed his lips. "You two are giving me new china as a Tuesday present."

"No special occasion…?" Sirius asked guiltily.

"Did you break this for a special occasion?"

"No…"

"Then there you go." Remus said briskly, and raked a hand through his tawny hair before he grabbed a smaller box and headed into another room.

"What are you? Eight years old?" James scoffed to Sirius as he emptied out the contents of the cardboard box in the trashcan. There was a soft tinkle of broken plates against the metal can.

"What kind of fucked up eight-year-olds do you know that talk about sex toys?"

"You know what I meant!'

Remus treaded out of the other room again. "What are you two buffoons doing now? We asked you and Peter to help us move boxes and unpack, not play games."

Sirius pouted at Remus. "I'm sorry, Remus." He said sweetly, and traipsed over gently to give Remus a small kiss on his cheek. Remus softened a bit, giving Sirius a tender smile and ruffle of the hair.

"What, Padfoot gets off the hook because he's your boyfriend?" James said, crossing his arms dejectedly.

"Exactly." Sirius said, and looped an arm around Remus' waist.

Remus wasn't paying attention as James stuck his tongue out at Sirius crossly. "Speaking of Peter. Where is he? He said he would unload the truck." The tawny-haired boy said suspiciously, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh. He said he wanted to go get some doughnuts. He'll be back in a couple hours, prolly." James amused, scratching as his chin. "Um, yeah, I'll get some more boxes."

James pushed his glasses up his nose before he hurried outside to take care of the other boxes. He shut the door clumsily behind himself.

Remus awkwardly stared at the floor from the silence when he felt Sirius' eyes on him. Looking up, Sirius enveloped the smaller boy in his arms and nuzzled his neck contentedly with a sigh.

"I love you." Sirius mumbled.

"I love you too." Remus replied, snaking his arms up into Sirius' neck. He feels the other boy sniff heartily at his hair.

"Mmm, coconut. Did you shower this morning?"

"Yes." Remus responded, letting go of their embrace. Sirius was still smiling broadly.

"So now we live together. Are you scared?"

Remus shook his head, laughing. "I lived with you for seven years in Hogwarts. Living with you is not exactly new."

Sirius nodded in agreement, tilting his head. "I suppose you're right. Like always." Swooping down, he gave Remus a fervent kiss on the mouth, which emitted a moan from Remus. Sirius flickered his tongue over the other boy's lips. Remus responded eagerly, letting Sirius take the opportunity to explore his mouth.

"Ahem."

Remus and Sirius hastily broke apart at the sound of another person's voice interrupting their embrace.

"Sorry James."

"Hello Peter."

Sirius and Remus awkwardly greeted their friends, straightening out their hair and wandering into opposite parts of the apartment. Remus floated hurriedly over to the kitchen while Sirius cleared his throat and hurried to take the boxes out of his friend's hands.

"Peter, what have you been doing? We need your help unpacking!"

"Sorry!" Peter apologized heatedly. "I was… taking a break. Having a snack."

"No more breaks!" Sirius scolded. He waggled his finger strictly at Peter's chubby and pasty face. Then, after Remus was out of sight, Sirius discreetly led Peter over to the door and shoved some gold into his hands. "Do me a favor Wormtail, and go buy me an expensive-looking china set, will you? Make sure it looks _dated_, too."

Peter tilted his head perplexedly, but then Sirius shoved him hurriedly towards the door and turned to help Remus unload the kitchen supplies.

---

"Hey Moony, Padfoot? What's up with this room?" James called out into the hall, his head poking into a dark but roomy space.

"Huh?" Sirius questioned, grabbing Remus' hand and walking over to where James was standing.

"What are you planning on doing with this room?"

"We have an extra room?" Remus said in bewilderment. He groped for his wand and lit it, shining it inside the dark area.

"Oooh!" Sirius crooned lovingly as he ogled the vast room. "This is _soo_ becoming the quidditch room." He and James smirked before they both slapped their hands together playfully in a high-five.

Remus scoffed. "_The Quidditch Room?_ I'm sorry, but no. This is definitely becoming the study and library."

Sirius tutted, gaping, while James looked thunderstruck and horrified.

"Hullo." Peter chimed in, hopping over to his friends. "What's going on here?"

"Sirius wants to turn my library into a bloody _quidditch_ room!" Remus rambled loudly, looking cross.

"_Your library?_ In Dumbledore's pants, Remus." Sirius said doubtfully, crossing his arms. Remus glared.

"I can solve your problems," James said cockily from the corner. "It can be the James Room."

Remus and Sirius were about to fight back when Peter piped in furiously.

"That's not fair! Where would the Peter room be??"

"You can have the bathroom, Wormtail." James granted smilingly.

"Uhm, no." Remus said firmly. "The room is going to be a _library_."

"Very funny, Moony, but we don't want to attract Ravenclaws to our house." Sirius said with raised eyebrows.

"But we want to recreate a quidditch pitch?" Remus scoffed.

"Remus, you do understand that if we make a James room, we automatically make a quidditch room?"

"That is exactly why we are not making a James room!" the tawny-haired boy said determinedly.

---

By the afternoon next morning, Sirius and Remus had no longer discussed the 'extra room' issue. Remus had coolly left the house to shop for groceries, and when he returned Sirius was sitting on the couch, reading innocently.

Too innocently.

Sirius looked up with a smile. Getting up, he greeted Remus with a soft kiss and hug. "Hey Moony. I've been thinking."

"You never think." Remus said suspiciously, pushing Sirius to arm's length.

"Well, I have been. And you're right. We shouldn't get upset over a room. You can make it into a library or study or whatever."

Remus smiled gently. "That's… strangely nice of you. You're usually so stubborn."

"I know," Sirius shrugged. "But now since we live together, I thought that I should make some compromises."

The werewolf grinned, running his hands through Sirius' silky black hair. "That's really sweet of you, Padfoot. I think I'll go bring some of my books into the room, then." With a peck on the cheek, Remus hurried off to examine his new library.

It was when he opened the door that he came across a most frightening sight.

Within in the room were packed all of the broomsticks Sirius had ever owned or stolen from the Quidditch pitch. Remus shouted out loudly for his boyfriend to join him in the room.

"Yes, darling?" Sirius asked sweetly in a sugarcoated voice when he reached Remus.

"What the hell did you do with my library??!" Remus demanded.

"Oh, I thought you would appreciate the fact that I decorated it a bit for you."

"Decorated?!" Remus yelled wildly. "You stuffed the room full of nothing but broomsticks!! Where are bookshelves supposed to go? Or desks?"

Sirius scanned the room, squinting his eyes. "Umm… they can go over there."

"Sirius, bookshelves aren't two inches wide."

Sirius shrugged. "Oh, well, I suppose you're right. Then if there's no room for studying anywhere, this becomes the Quidditch room!" And with that statement, Sirius pranced cheerfully out of the room.

"You rehearsed that speech, didn't you, Sirius?" Remus asked dryly after him.

"Mmmhmm, Moony. I didn't need a library to research how to do that either."

---

Sirius was thoroughly happy with himself for the rest of the day. Smug as he was, he didn't notice that around ten at night Remus was placing pillows and blankets on the couch.

"What's this, Moony? Sleeping on the couch tonight?"

Remus smiled cheekily. "Nope. You are."

"I'm what?" Sirius asked, dumbstruck.

Remus fluffed up a pillow with a smirk. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight. It's just with me having to fit the library into our bedroom, there isn't room for a _full_ bed. And so with you making compromises and everything, I thought you'd be okay with sleeping out here." Satisfyingly, Remus blew Sirius a kiss and whispered: "Sweet dreams."

Sirius was still gaping disbelievingly. "Are you fucking with me, Moony?"

"Nope." Remus said, smiling sweetly. "And if you get lonely, you can just cuddle with this." He thrust an aged broomstick into Sirius' fingers before he flicked off the lights.

---

By next morning, Remus had cleaned out the room of broomsticks so they were all stuffed in closets again. By noon, Remus was going out.

"When I get back if my library is stuffed with quidditch supplies I will confiscate every single one of your broomsticks, Sirius Black!" Remus warned just before he slammed the door shut noisily.

---

When the werewolf had returned, Sirius was nowhere in sight. Awkwardly, Remus put down his keys and called Sirius' name.

"Sirius? Um… Padfoot? Sirrriuuusss…?" Remus yelled out.

"I'm in here, Moony." Sirius' muffled voice said.

Remus ruffled his eyebrows when he heard that his boyfriend's voice from within the empty room. Hastily he shook off his coat and rushed to the area. It had been bad enough lugging out twenty-five broomsticks _once_.

But instead when he entered the room, he was greeted by nothing but lots and lots of lined paper hung up on the wall by sloppy pieces of tape. Sirius sat in the corner with a notebook in his lap, his dark bangs falling into his face as he sketched messily on the pages.

"What're you doing, Padfoot?"

Sirius got up and slung an arm around Remus' shoulder. He lead him over to the multiple sketches and plans hung up on the walls.

"I made plans for what we could use this room before." He pointed to some of the drawings. "First I thought pool room, then money room, then sex room, then party room, then Marauder's room, then pantry room, then the magic room, then the I Hate Snivellus room, and a million different stuff. But I know what I want this room to be."

Remus hesitantly offered: "Umm… the quidditch room?"

"No. The Moony and Padfoot room."

"Isn't the same thing as the sex room?" Remus ventured tentatively. Sirius laughed, but shook his head as he tightened the arm around his boyfriend's shoulders.

"Moony, this is the room you can have your transformation in. And I'll be there too, so it's Moony and Padfoot. The Moony and Padfoot room. I know that's something important, and I think we couldn't make better use of this room. I love you, Moony." He gently kissed at Remus' neck as Remus stood, awed at all of the drawings of what the room_could_ be. But the best sketch was certainly the one where Moony the wolf and Padfoot the dog were cuddled up on a furry rug.

"This… this is so sweet, Sirius." Remus said, and turned to face the Animagus. "I love you."

There was a silence between them where Sirius and Remus kissed tenderly.

"Um… do I still have to sleep on the couch?"

---

"Honey, I'm home!" James called cheerfully into Remus' and Sirius' apartment, laughing at his own joke. He shrugged off his coat, about to call out his friend's names when he saw them emerge messily from the couch.

"Oh dear lord." Sirius muttered, and sprang off from the cushion. He hastily buttoned his shirt and attempted to straighten out his hair. Remus copied him embarrassingly, his cheeks tinged scarlet.

"Sorry James." Remus murmured, hiding his face from view.

"Ahh, so the lovebirds made up from the secret room spat?"

"Yeah." Sirius said, smiling at Remus. "We made it the sex room."

James gaped, looking humiliated and disbelieving as Remus slapped Sirius lightly on the shoulder again.

"Honestly, Sirius, why do your sarcastic jokes always involve sex?"

"Because James gets sweaty and tongue-tied when I bring it up." Sirius said reasonably, shrugging.

James looked furious. "You. Are. Not. Funny. Sirius Black!!" he said, his face reddening intensely. Sirius laughed heartily at the sight.

"C'mon, everyone loves the bondage prank."

Remus slapped Sirius' shoulder again. "_Anyway_," he said. "How is Lily?"

"Better than ever. How's living together?"

"Horrible. Sirius leaves the toilet seat up, he doesn't cap the toothpaste, he doesn't make the bed, and Padfoot sheds on the couch."

"Does he really?" James inquired nosily.

"Of course I don't! Sirius said indignantly. Remus rubbed his arm soothingly.

"No, Padfoot, you don't. Even though you… _occasionally_ don't cap the toothpaste."


End file.
